


Security

by Sherrykinss



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Feels, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:15:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24374881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherrykinss/pseuds/Sherrykinss
Summary: Rafael is getting more threats but continues to refuse a security detail.
Kudos: 10





	Security

“Look, all I’m saying is that we would feel better if you let us assign security detail on you.” Nick pressed. Rafael had been getting more threats lately due to a new case. Silent phone calls and then the notes stuck on the window of his office. It just keeps going and the list of enemies just keeps growing.

“And I’m telling you and the others, if I wanted to be babysat, I would sit at home. I’m not going to walk around like a Cuban jefe with two bodyguards following me. I have too much work.” He argued.

Nick had been trying to convince the counselor since early that morning. From the minute Rafael walked into the courtroom, down to the second he came out of the courtroom. Rafael had been pestered by Liv, Carisi and Amanda and still he wouldn’t budge.

“Come on, Barba. These threats are escalating. We can’t ignore it anymore.” Nick explained, as they exit the courthouse.

Rafael sighed and stopped walking. Nick stopped and was ready to celebrate his win, the others all took bets that the counselor wouldn’t give up. Nick, however, was confident in his persistence.

“Detective, I don’t care if you send Fin, I am not going to agree.” Rafael sternly emphasized each word.

Nick groaned and shook his head, proceeding down the stairs with him, when a glimmer shone under the sunlight. Nick’s eyes snapped to the metal shine and realized a gun was pointed right at them, so he acted upon instinct.

“GUN! GET DOWN!” He shouted.

His left arm shoved Rafael aside, as the other went to draw his gun, just as the shot rang out. Rafael toppled back onto the stairs and the bullet pierced Nick’s body. His body collapsed beside Rafael. The shocked counselor crouched right beside him. The shots from the gun echoed in his ears, replaying it over and over again until his ears rang. Rafael’s blood smothered hands trembled as the he held Nick’s wound. Nick grunted, face contorted from the pain, as he clutched his chest to slow the bleeding down.

The officers guarding the courthouse shot the shooter down before he could take another shot. Hearing the chaos outside, Olivia rushed out of the courthouse and followed the screams. She spotted Rafael crouching over a body. “NICK!” Olivia ran straight to the pair and pulled Nick’s upper body onto her lap. Nick was panting as he fought the pain that rushed to every nerve of his body.

“BARBA, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? CALL A BUS!” She shouted at the counselor, but his mind was in a traumatic daze.

“Stay with us, okay. You’re going to be ok, just hang on.” She reassured her partner as she checked his vitals, putting pressure onto the wound. The blood had stained Rafael’s light tan long coat. His terrified eyes watched the blood pour out of the man’s wound, smothering Olivia’s clothes and hands. “Barba! Wake up!” She shouted again. Hearing his name, Rafael shook his head to regain his focus and dug out his phone. His bloody hands trembled as he called for an ambulance.

When the ambulance came, EMT’s moved Nick onto a stretcher and lift him up into the truck. Rafael stood up, his clothes were a mess and he was still in a daze. They bombarded him with questions, overwhelming him. “Are you sure you’re ok?” Olivia asked. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He reassured her. She nodded and hopped into the truck. “Barba, you coming?” She asked. He shook his head. “I… You go. I’m fine.” He muttered and waved her off.

At the hospital, Olivia paced back and forth in the waiting room. Her clothes were smeared with Nick’s blood, but it didn’t bother her. She had hardly noticed it, unlike anyone that walked by her. Amanda, Fin and Carisi walked in with tensed faces. “How is he?” Amanda asked. Liv sighed and shrugged, “He’s still in surgery. But the bullet hit right underneath his left shoulder.” She said. Carisi and Fin nodded silently, keeping their concern in silence.

“He’s going to be ok.” Fin said. “You said the shooter was aiming for Barba?” Amanda asked. “Yeah, that’s what it seems like.” Liv said. She rubbed her head to soothe her headache. “The man is pretty brazen to shoot an attorney right outside the courthouse.” Fin shook his head. “Yeah, it definitely sends a message.” Carisi crossed his arms. “Well at least he won’t refuse the security detail now.” Amanda said.

After the surgery, the head surgeon came out and headed straight to Olivia. They all held their breath, hoping for good news. “Olivia Benson?” The doctor asked. She nodded in response. “The surgery was successful. He is going to be okay, but he will have to do PT.” The doctor explained. They all finally released the breath they were holding and sighed in relief. “Can we see him?” Liv asked. “In a couple of hours, he’s still coming off the anesthesia.” He said. They all were finally able to relax from their worries. 

Rafael had been sitting in the living room, staring at the blood stained suit hanging up on the stair railing. He had been staring at it for a while now. He swirled the golden liquid in his glass and brought it up to his lips, taking another sip.

The front door opened and slammed shut. Hearing hurried footsteps, his eyes gazed up from the suit and landed on the love of his life standing before him. Her hair was a disheveled mess, and her eyes blinked furiously in a panic.

“What the hell, Raf? You weren’t answering your phone!” She exclaimed, her voice was filled with distress. She approached him and he got a glimpse of her red puffy eyes under the dim light of the lamp.

“I must have forgotten to turn the sound on.” He said and downed the rest of the contents in his glass.

She scoffed and ran her fingers through her hair in disbelief. However, she was relieved, seeing that he was physically okay. She took a deep breath and sighed to calm her nerves. She sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around him, pulling his head to her chest. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. Liv called me, and I was so scared.” She softly explained. He wrapped his arms around her and snuggled into her chest, his face void of any emotion.

“Are you okay?” She asked in a gentle voice.

“I’m fine.” He shrugged.

“Raf, talk to me, please.” Her fingers brushed through his hair as she held him.

He sighed and hugged her tighter, snuggling into the warmth of her body.

“I should have just taken the security detail. He wouldn’t have gotten shot.” He said. 

His voice was soft with defeat and regret. He practically reeked with guilt.

“Do you think you would feel better if it was someone else that got shot?” She asked. 

She knew that he was blaming himself, it was quite evident especially when she spotted the glass in his hand. He was taking it hard. He looked up and gazed into her warm knowing eyes. She was right. He shook his head and his eyes returned to the blood stained suit.

“No. I can still hear the gunshot ringing in my ears. What do I do now? I got him shot. What do I say?” He said.

She pulled away only to look down at him. Her hands cup both sides of his face and her thumbs caressed his cheeks gently.

“It would have happened either way. You have no control over these things. No matter how much you would like to think so.” She explained. “Go see him tomorrow. He doesn’t blame you, so you shouldn’t blame yourself. You have to be very cautious now.” She said and kissed the worry wrinkles of his forehead.

He nodded and flashed a small smile. She returned that smile and pulled him into a tight hug. Her eyes noticed the blood stained suit and her stomach dropped. She knew she had to get rid of that suit, otherwise it would be a hanging reminder for Rafael.

“Why don’t I drop your suit off at the dry cleaners tomorrow?” She suggested.

He shook his head, “That’s okay. I can do it on my way.”

“You sure? One less thing you have to worry about.” She said.

He nodded, “It’s fine. It’s on my way anyway.” He patted her back lightly and reassured her with a bigger smile. The smile didn’t reach his eyes, but she nodded.

“Okay, you must be tired. Let’s get some sleep.” She got off his lap and helped him up. She spent the night at his apartment to make sure he was going to be fine for the night.

The next few days, Rafael tried to move on from the incident, but the ringing of the gunshot continued to haunt him. The trauma made him paranoid and jumpy, but he hid it well. He hated burdening his girlfriend with his issues. She was already so anxious over his safety; he didn’t want to add more to her stress.

Rafael finally took his girlfriend’s advice and found the courage to visit Nick. Rafael stood right outside of Nick’s hospital room. He hid and peeked in; Nick was in there with Olivia and they were chatting. He wanted to go in, but his feet wouldn’t move. What could he say anyway? He sighed and turned his heel to leave.

“Barba?” He froze hearing his name and turned back. Olivia walked towards him, “You just going to leave?” She smiled and teased him. “Just wanted to check if he was okay.” He quietly said. “He’s fine. He’ll be on desk duty and has PT to attend in the meantime.” She informed him. Rafael nodded, “Okay, well. I should get going.” He said, curtly. “Wait, you’re not going to let him know you stopped by?” She asked him. She raised her eyebrow at him. She knew he wasn’t the most affectionate person, but the dark bags under his eyes told another story. “I am due in court.” With that, he turned on his heel and hurried off.

The next few days, Olivia kept her eyes on Rafael since bumping into him at the hospital. Nick was recovering quite well, so she wasn’t as worried about him. She had stopped by one of Rafael’s cases in court, just to check up on him. Her suspicions were confirmed when she watched him stumble in court. His words were slurring at some points of his speech, his temper was showing and his frustrations were hindering the case. She didn’t want to get involved, so she gave his girlfriend a call.

That night, his girlfriend stopped by Rafael’s apartment to check in on him. His girlfriend gave Rafael space, she knew hovering around him would only affect him. She was grateful that Liv called, she didn’t want to make him feel like she was pestering him. She unlocked the door and closed it behind her. “Raf? I’m here!” She called out as she took off her shoes. Before she made it to the living room, she spotted the hanging bloody suit on the stairs. He wasn’t okay and she felt stupid for not persistently checking up on him. 

She found him in bed, the lights were off and he was tucked in. When she didn’t hear quiet snoring, she knew he was not asleep yet. She slipped under the covers and nestled up to his back and hugged him close. “I love you, Rafael.” She whispered and kissed the back of his neck. He shifted under the covers and held her arms. She hugged him tighter and felt him relax in her embrace.

The next morning, she took the suit to the dry cleaners without telling him. She didn’t want the suit to constantly remind him of that day. He needed to move on and the only way he can do that is to not go home to be reminded of his guilt. Rafael took each day slowly, but he still avoided the precinct. It didn’t go unnoticed by the squad. So, Liv took matters in her own hands.

Rafael’s hand loosely held onto the glass of scotch in one hand, while his other hand flipped through pages of a new court case. His head was pounding and his eyes stung with exhaustion. He hoped the liquor could numb everything he was feeling right now. A knock interrupted his chain of thoughts and the door opened without his permission.

“Carmen, I said no visitors.” He snapped, his head still buried in the pile of papers.

Olivia slipped through the door and closed it behind her. She slipped her hands into the pockets of her pants suit and sighed, taking a good look at a haggard ADA.

“Thought you might want to grab lunch.” She said.

Recognizing the voice, he dropped his papers and set the glass of liquor down. He sighed and looked up.

“Let’s skip the small talk. Is there something you need?” He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms.

“Straight to the point. Okay.” She approached his desk and leaned forward, resting her hands on the edge of his desk.

“How are you coping?” Liv softly asked him.

She couldn’t ignore his swollen dark circles and the red tint in his glassy eyes. Not mention he reeked of scotch. On the other hand, he was not in the mood to waste time. He was already having trouble focusing. He was exhausted, too tired to argue with her. He knew exactly what she was talking about.

“I think you’re asking the wrong person.” He retorted and got up from his desk. But Olivia cut him off and stood right in front of him. He sighed and rolled his eyes, looking aside to avoid her eyes.

“Barba, you were affected too.” She said, lowering her head so she could make eye contact with his avoiding gaze. He pursed his lips, because he knew she wasn’t going to give up. His eyes returned to her.

“I’m fine.” He curtly said. “I have work to do, if there’s nothing else…” He said and walked off, leaving Liv to sigh in defeat.

Fin and Liv were visiting Nick in the hospital. Fin looked at the jello cup in disgust. “You need real dessert.” Nick laughed and shook his head. “Man, I am counting down the seconds till I get to leave this place.” Nick said.

“So have you talked to Barba?” Fin asked.

He scoffed. “You would think if you save a man from a bullet, he would show up. But nah, I haven’t seen him at all.” Nick bitterly chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“Just because you haven’t seen him, doesn’t mean he hasn’t visited.” Liv softly said and flashed him a warm smile.

Nick’s eyebrow raised in disbelief. His brown eyes narrowed and stared at Liv, waiting for her to continue. But she just shot him a knowing look.

“I’ll let him know to bring you flowers next time.” Fin teased, just to lighten the tension.

Nick was packing his belongings for his discharged. He zipped his bag and turned to find Barba quietly standing at the door frame. Nick slung the bag over his good shoulder and flashed him a small smile.

“Hey, they got you on chauffeur duty?” Nick jokingly teased him, but Rafael didn’t crack a smile.

“Sorry,” Rafael apologized.

Nick awkwardly shifted in his stance. “Thanks, but it’s not on you.”

“Well, you probably wouldn’t have gotten shot.” Rafael looked up from his feet, finally looking Nick in the eyes.

“Look, unless you’re psychic, you couldn’t have predicted that.” Nick took a step forward and gave Rafael a reassuring pat on his shoulder. 

Rafael’s pursed lips forcefully curled up into a tight-lipped smile. Nick gave him a sincere and forgiving smile before walking out the room.

“Amaro.” Rafael called out. 

Nick glanced back and Rafael turned to face him.

“I owe you.” Rafael said.

Nick chuckled, “Hell yeah you do. You owe me some drinks!” He said and nonchalantly waved before walking off.

Even though the guilt was still there, Rafael felt like a bit of the weight was lifted from his shoulders. Perhaps, this was what he needed to get back on track.


End file.
